“Worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.”
Firstly, worry is the negative feeling for the anticipated future problems; a kind of preservative cognition which is necessary in some measure. What we speak about is “excessive worry” worry that is not necessary; nonfunctional, obstructive kind, the one that eventually leads to depression.
Two monks were once traveling down on a road. Coming around a ford, they met a beautiful girl unable to cross the water. “Come on, girl,” said one of the monks. Than he lifted her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. The other monk did not speak again until that night when they reached the temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he told the other one who lifted the woman, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is forbidden.. ”“I left the girl there,” answered the other monk . “Are you still carrying her?”
Well timed, adequate amount of worry is necessary. After all we’re part of nature and the society which have other players and threats that will hunt you when you’re not on alert. It’s a defence mechanism. Yet, all the defence mechanisms are to defend you for your welfare; you need to have a kind of prosperity through the defence. Worry is just an another tool to survive through stress, a preparation for action. And it brings us to our usual classic advice and message, “seek “the golden mean” between extremes, “moderation in all things.” Too less or too much worry causes trouble. Find the necessary amount, do not go over the limit. But how are we going to decide what is moderate?
I suggest you have multiple perspectives over the events. Life is an act of survival, an immersive thriller. It has to be scary, it has to be worrisome to drag you through. To make you involve in it, to draw you attention, to keep you alive, you’ll have challenges. Get used to the momentary challenges, as well as daily and lifelong challenges you will face, they’re natural. If you can gain this perspective, you may leave over worrying and the other way carelessness, worrilessness. Permit yourself to be worried a bit, and limit yourself when the worry stops you from solving problems.
“Once upon a time a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical ‘glass half empty or glass half full’ question. Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?’
Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.
She replied, ‘From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.’
As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, ‘Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.’”
The amount and the context determines the quality of the worry. To be a great worrier, you need to limit yourself and if possible have the survivalist perspective. The life will throw challenges at you, if you want to be successful, if you want to achieve something; bear in mind that ” you cannot be sensitive to pleasure without being sensitive to pain” You need to pay, you have to suffer; in order to achieve. The amount of worry will be paid no matter what. Even if you didn’t worry on that occasion; you’ll worry for the missing of an opportunity or for the other problems that your worriless attitude caused.
To handle the worry, the anxiety; you need to have different perspectives over the events. Change your perspective or uplift to a more general, ideal one. You’ll notice that all the things we do have a function. And a person benefits even from too much worry; they make use of it in some way. At least, it creates a contrast to the calmness afterwards, or the surprise, the pleasure; depending on the context.
A man asked Buddha if the sage could give him any remedy or amulet.
“Hmm…” Buddha said, “I can’t solve this problem for you.”
“What good are you then?!” the man yelled. “Everyone says you are the enlightened one and here you can’t solve any of my problems. Is there absolutely nothing you can do? I’m tired of my terrible life.”
“You see,” Buddha said patiently, as if he hadn’t heard the man’s tirade, “at any point in time, you’ll always have 84 problems in your life. The 84th is the key. If you solve the 84th problem, the first 83 will resolve themselves.”
“Please solve my 84th problem then,” the man said, going back to being humble. “How do I do it?” he added.
“First, we have to identify your 84th problem.”
“What is my 84th problem?”
Buddha smiled and peered deeply into the man’s eyes which were full of desire, doubt and anxiety.
“Your 84th problem is,” Buddha said and paused, “you want to get rid of the first 83 problems. If you understand that life is never without problems, it won’t look so bad.”
Although he didn’t get the type of solution he was expecting, Buddha’s compassionate glance gave him a feeling of peace. Even if temporarily.
Buddha finished by saying, “Mellow down, be noble. Learn to see life beyond what you want to see.”